You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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