drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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