I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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