This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize