Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
