They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
