that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
