Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
