he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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