It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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