Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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