I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
