Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
