so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
