u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
