Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When are your genitals available?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize