you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She's the barista slut.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
as a side note pls kill me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
