I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
