she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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