All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize