I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think my tv is drunk
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
