; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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