State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
