HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
