I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
