you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
