I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
