I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
