i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
