2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
