i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize