hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
