We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
