there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize