Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
