My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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