just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
