3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
