"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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