After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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