well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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