your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
