small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize