Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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