my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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