We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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