This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
