He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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