When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
