Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
