I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
