We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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