The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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