I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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