high people should be assigned attendants
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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