I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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