if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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