I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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