We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
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A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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