I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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